No one likes the idea of online school. The idea of having your children planted in front of a screen all day trying to absorb and learn whatever the intended curriculum is, is nothing short of unnatural and concerning. We are collectively concerned, but what are we so fearful of exactly? A generation of unprepared uninformed children? Let’s break this down.
Learning is an organic process. If I were to describe learning (as a verb or something one does) it would be to gain new knowledge about something you have yet to know or discover. Let’s pause and think this through for a second, is this happening? Are your children learning anything throughout the day while online and at home? I am not a betting woman but I would wager a strong yes, yes they are.
Learning online is no one’s dream – but is learning happening?
What I am mourning is not the academic portion of my children’s day (don’t stone me – my kids both have great teachers). I am not missing the text, but I am mourning the subtext. It’s the social and the emotional scripts that are not able to penetrate through the screen into their worlds, and without that, their worlds have become very small. Because so much of your children’s school based learning happens in the moments in between classes, during group work, recess and walking to and from school.
Those finite moments of connection, interaction and communication…that no one seems to be having at all anymore. Sure we talk to our kids, and they talk (text?) to their friends – but social media is not a replacement for non-verbal communication, nuance and subtext. If we are all being honest with ourselves for a minute, isn’t this what we are deeply fearful of? We wonder, will our kids lack the social skills and the emotional resilience necessary to hack it in the world? But let’s consider the world in which they are a part of creating, to hack it in when they return to a pre covid existence.
One of the pandemic catch phrases is ‘we are in it together – or stronger together’…I can’t fully recall, but it’s something that sounds like that. Personally I am not a fan of this slogan any way you slice it because it simply calls out that we are all on this sinking ship – together (yay)…but its sinking (boo).
You don’t need to worry about your kid falling through the cracks because collectively they are all falling through the cracks. Or rather, together they will all be just fine.
And maybe that though is the paradigm shift we all need to adjust to - Being. Just. Fine.
Before COVID 19 my world was packed with hockey tournaments, practices, extra practices, private coaching, skating camps…hours and hours and spent on anything but the idea of my son being just damn fine. We knew he wasn’t going to the NHL (we aren’t completely insane) but being just fine was not something we aspired to for him either. We longed to give him greatness, to help him achieve the feeling of being great at something and finding happiness in that awesome pocket.
Our daughter spent 30 hours a week training in her dance studio. She was in the process of learning 15 routines to compete against other dancers across the province, she was in it to win it – and being just fine was not a phrase she used as a personal motivation tool.
Before Covid - no one in our household wanted to sail by being just fine…. but today is a very different day. Today, there are no hockey arenas and goals to score, no stages to perform on and leave it all on the floor…there are no kings and there are no castles because everyone is home. Being just fine. And, for some unknown reason – the kids are fine.
Except we as a parenting community are not fine. We are trying to make sense of the world, our priorities and our values through a COVID lenses. And the first thing we need to do for ourselves and our children is to be grateful that we are FINE. The world will keep turning and with it our children will learn and grow and flourish. Amen.
We will not return to a pre covid existence because we are better now, we know things and we are able to appreciate that being average is awesome. Call me crazy, but maybe (big maybe) people will value connection again, and put their devices down when they are granted permission to once again interact without fear. Our children are not the first to live through something like this, and they will be stronger because of it. It’s US that needs the time to make the mental shift that our kids have made, twice now, during their time at home in lockdown.
Because together we will all be just fine.
Until our Next Lesson…